A vacuum sales person came to the monestary and asked, "Swamiji, will you buy a vacuum?"
Swamiji said, "Yes, but without any attachments."

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A young person decided that they wanted to leave the world and become a reclusive monk. They climbed the Himalaya mountains until they came upon a monestary hidden deep in the forest. 
     After sharing his wish to live a cloistered life with the head monk, he was told, 'This is the most austere monestary; people stay in their rooms all the time and only speak 2 words every 10 years."
     The person assured the monk that this is the life they wanted, so he was shown to a cell, told food was slid under the door for meals, and with that, the young person was left alone in complete solitude.

    Ten years went by and the head monk visited the young monk. The senior held up two fingers, reminding the person that they can speak two words now.
    The young monk said, "Bed's hard." 
    The senior monk nodded their head and left, closing the door behind them.

    Another 10 years elapsed and the senior monk visited the junior monk, again holding up two fingers to listen to the youngster's thoughts.
     The young monk said, "Food's bad"
     And the senior monk nodded their head and left, closing the door behind them.

   Now another 10 years passed and again, the head monk visited the junior monk. Again he held up two fingers to listen to the youngster's thoughts.
     The young monk said, "Bed's hard."

   On the 40th year, ten years after the last visit, the head monk again came to vist the now not-so-young monk; holding up his two fingers, the young monk replied, "I quit."

     The senior monk said, "Just as well, you've done nothing but complain for the past 40 years."

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   A man boarded the train in Delhi. When the conductor came and asked for the man's ticket, the man, in a huffy manner said, I'm going to Lord Krishna's birthplace, I dont need a ticket.
     The conductor calmly pulled out a set of hand cuffs and cuffed the man. Astonished, the passenger shouted, "How dare you, what are you doing?"
     The conductor simply said, I'm taking you to Lord Krishna's birthplace."
     [Krishna was born in a jail]